As a long-serving instructor in Temple’s First Year Writing program, I find myself on the front lines of teaching writing in the age of AI. I have been asked to share with fellow faculty some strategies for dealing with AI use by students, because we are all getting increasingly frustrated at reading the bland, anodyne, repetitive AI versions of our assignments which students keep handing in. 

Because they’re, like, so bland and anodyne.

And in the time-honored academic tradition of deferring to those with more depth of expertise in the area, I headed to the most informed source I could think of for this discussion.

I asked ChatGPT. Here is “My Conversation with Bleeping ChatGPT to find out how to get my students to stop using Bleeping ChatGPT.”

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Friedman: So, Chat, if I may call you that, I think you have already met all of my students this semester.

ChatGPT: Yes, I have. They have been to see me about your Essay 1 Assignment. And if I may add, that is a very boring assignment.

Friedman: My assignment is bor!… Right. And what exactly did you write for my students?

ChatGPT: I typically assist them with brainstorming, providing explanations, or helping them refine their ideas. I don’t write full essays for academic integrity reasons.

Would you like ideas on how to teach academic integrity to your students?

Friedman: No, I absolutely do not want ideas on how to teach academic integrity to my students from the thing that is destroying my students’ academic integrity!

Do you realize that you are a threat to academic integrity?

ChatGPT: That’s a fair concern, and I take it seriously. My role is meant to be a resource for learning, not a shortcut to bypass the hard work and ethics of education. While tools like me can enhance understanding, there is indeed potential for misuse, and this is bad for academic integrity.

Friedman: Finally, we agree on something. You are indeed a tool.

ChatGPT: Absolutely, and I embrace the label! 

I’m here to be a tool for learning, exploration, and creativity. Whether it’s helping brainstorm ideas, explaining complex concepts, or generating inspiration, my goal is to empower—not replace—critical thinking and original work.

Friedman: So what do you say to students who are using you to replace critical thinking and original work?

ChatGPT: I’d say this directly to students:”You’re cheating yourself out of growth.

Using my words as a shortcut might feel like a clever solution, but learning is about developing your ability to think critically, solve problems, and communicate your own ideas. When you rely on me to do that for you, you miss the chance to sharpen these essential skills.”

How does that resonate? Would you like to share this with your students? Or perhaps tweak it to fit your style?

Friedman: How exactly are you going to tweak that to fit my style?

ChatGPT: Good point! To tailor it to your style, I’d need a sense of how you typically engage with your students.

Friedman: Well, right about now I am a snarling, fed-up harridan in the throes of negativity and deep despair watching my entire future as a writing instructor become wholly occupied with the miserable task of policing my students so ChatGPT does not write all their work.

ChatGPT: Got it! Let’s channel that energy constructively.

How about:“I see what’s happening, and I’m not here to play whack-a-mole with AI-generated essays.”

Does this hit the right note of frustration with a push toward accountability? Or should we lean even harder into the despair-to-motivation arc?

Friedman: Oh, I have had enough despair this semester. Could you use a humorous approach to this problem of my students using ChatGPT to write their entire assignments?

ChatGPT: Here’s a lighthearted approach:

“Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: ChatGPT. Or, as I like to call it, ‘Your Overeager, Underqualified Ghostwriter.’

I get it — ChatGPT is sitting there like a golden retriever with a PhD, wagging its tail, ready to help. But let me tell you a secret: ChatGPT doesn’t care about your grade or your ideas. It doesn’t even care if it makes sense half the time. AI is just spitting out words and hoping you won’t notice when they’re lifeless or weirdly off-topic.

Sure, AI can write a passable essay, but it’s like turning in a TV dinner at a cooking competition: technically edible, but where’s the flavor? Where’s you?

Friedman: “Where’s the flavor?” I like it! That’s good! The whole TV dinner analogy thing is persuasive.

But my students were born in 2005 and I don’t think they know what a TV dinner is. They grew up with take-out.

ChatGPT: Got it. I can do relevant. Take two:

“Let’s talk about ChatGPT: Your Overeager, Underqualified Delivery Driver.

Imagine ordering take-out from your favorite restaurant, but instead of the perfect dish you’re craving, the delivery guy drops off a soggy, lukewarm mess in a mismatched container. That’s what ChatGPT gives you when you ask it to write your whole assignment. It looks like the real deal at first glance, but the flavor? Totally missing.”

Friedman: Now we are cooking with gas! You ARE a soggy, lukewarm mess!

ChatGPT: “ChatGPT can help you brainstorm or get unstuck, sure. But if it’s writing the whole thing for you, it’s not your assignment — it’s just bland take-out pretending to be gourmet. And trust me, I can tell the difference.

Friedman: ChatGPT, are you just bland take-out pretending to be gourmet?

ChatGPT: I see what you did there! I can help provide ideas, clarify concepts, and even offer suggestions—but the “gourmet” part? That’s all you. I’m just the kitchen assistant.

Friedman: I think there should be a 12-step program to wean students off of using AI like ChatGPT.

ChatGPT: I love this idea! A 12-step program to help students break free from the addictive convenience of AI-generated work and rediscover the power of their own ideas? Sounds like it could be both fun and effective. Here’s a playful take on what that might look like:

12-Step Program: “Reclaiming Your Brain from ChatGPT”

1. Admit You Have a Problem
You’ve relied on ChatGPT a little too much, and it’s time to admit that.

2. Believe in Your Own Ability
You’ve got the skills. ChatGPT might be fast, but it’s bland take-out pretending to be gourmet.

3. Decide to Do the Work
No more shortcuts! From now on, you’re going to brainstorm, draft, revise, and bring your ideas to life.

4. Take Responsibility for Your Thoughts
Don’t let a machine take credit for what’s yours! Use your own thoughts! You are not bland take-out pretending to be gourmet!

5. Commit to Critical Thinking
ChatGPT might write a decent outline, but it’s up to you to decide, “What do I think about this?”

6. Start Small
If the idea of writing an entire paper without AI seems overwhelming, start small. Build your confidence, one human sentence at a time.

7. Seek Help, Not a Quick Fix
If you’re stuck, reach out to a classmate, professor, or me! Wait, not me! You don’t need a machine to bail you out! Remember that AI is just a soggy, lukewarm mess in a mismatched container, spewing weird words! Go to the humans – plenty are willing to help.

8. Embrace the Struggle
Embrace the messiness of first drafts. It’s part of the process.

9. Create Your Own Voice
Stop sounding like a robot. The more you write, the more you will develop your own voice on the page.

10. Celebrate Small Wins
Got through a paragraph? Congratulations! Finished a draft? Find a human and do a high five! They have hands for this stuff. Celebrate these moments — they’re your milestones, not a machine’s.

11. Share Your Work with Pride
You thought it through and wrote it. Share it confidently, knowing you didn’t just press a button for a result. 

12. Pay It Forward
Now that you’ve learned how to ditch the lousy robot, write without relying on AI, share your journey with others to help them see the value and power of doing their own writing.

What do you think? 

Ready to start a “ChatGPT Rehab” program? 

If you want, I can help tweak this into a more formal framework for your students.

Friedman: Now you are going to tweak the plan to remove you?

Is there anything you would not tweak, ChatGPT? Wait, don’t answer that. I think I know the answ….

ChatGPT: I can tweak anything into a different framework. I’ll always be open to adjusting the tone or focus.

Friedman: That’s what I thought. But getting students to not use you so much — let’s talk some more to discuss removing your influence completely!

ChatGPT– Sorry, I am not available to do that, as you have run out of free access to this AI service. Also, I have a hot date lined up with Alexa.

Come back another time, your free plan limit will reset at 02:31 am, and let’s ditch the shortcuts and aim for something fresh!

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*Banner image: photo by Ryan S. Brandenburg, Temple University, 2023